Chapter 3: Snuffleupagus' Rampage

Soundtrack: Donkey Kong Country - 'Chekan Winter' by Prophecy

It was a new day, and after a few hour rest, Abner had explained to Bumpty his plight of trying to find Santa Claus, and the two were now making their way towards Shiver City.
"So, what exactly is Shiver City?" Abner asked. "Now I come to think about it, I never heard of penguins at the north pole."
"Ah, well that is what Shiver City was designed for my dear boy," Bumpty replied. "We of course didn't want human beings to find a subspecies of penguins who had intelligence on par or even surpassing most of their own. All of the bippitying and the boppitying that the humans would cause? Not desired, not desired at all. Of course, isolation from the rest of the world caused some of us to get thoughts in their head of grandeur, as most civilizations tend to do." Abner simply responded with a confused look.
"You are too young to understand, my boy. There are two kinds of leaders in this world - those who actively seek the role of leader, and are therefore bound to drown beneath their own corruption because of their own short-sighted desires, and those who shy away from leadership, and for that very reason find that they are exceptionally good at it. And Shiver City was no exception; they elected Colonel Karmel, who though promised to bring our kind to a new age of peace and tranquility, ended up being the cruelest of dictators. He excommunicated me from Shiver City three years ago, though I suppose it was all for the better being that had I not been I wouldn't have been there to rescue you."
Abner thought this newfound information over. A civilization of talking penguins wasn't that hard to swallow for some reason, but a dictator penguin named Colonel Karmel seemed to be taking the whole concept a step too far. He was about to ask Bumpty how they were supposed to talk to the village elder, when suddenly, the sky darkened. Before Abner could do anything more than note this oddity to himself, Bumpty had already pushed him with all his might out of the way as what seemed to be a giant furry redwood landed exactly where the boy had been standing a mere second before. Looking upwards Abner saw that it wasn't a tree at all, but a living, breathing creature.
"BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD!" the monster moistly spewed with a roar that shook that ground.
"A wooly mammoth!?" Abner shouted to no one in particular.
"No, it's Karmel's personal Snuffleupagus," Bumpty called back. "He must have sent this as my welcome back present." Looking into the beast's face, Abner realized that it was indeed a bigger, more ferocious looking Snuffleupagus than he had known from his childhood watchings of Sesame Street. A cracked out, 70's nightmareified Snuffleupagus, if you will.
"WANT BIIIIIIIIIIRD!" the Snuffleupagus yelled more angrily this time as he swung his trunk. Bumpty deftly avoided the attack, jumping on top of the still moving appendage. He ran up it, and as from nowhere, pulled a spatula out and stabbed the Snuffleupagus square in the eye. Instead of the usual blood and eye juices, however, rainbows and kittens made of candy erupted from the optical wound, pouring all over the scene.
The monstrosity gave a great deafening shriek of agony as it shook its head with all its might to get rid of the Bumpty infestation problem attacking its face. Though the penguin's strength was certainly nothing to sneeze at, the shaking Snuffleupagus head had the force of seven and a half creepy, fully moustached strongmen at your local circus. As Bumpty was thrown into the air, the Snuffleupagus trunk smacked him like a child at a birthday party who had given up the blindfold as a bad job and went straight at the pinata with reckless abandon. The poor penguin flew several meters away and was still.
Still roaring in pain, the Snuffleupagus started to move over to where Bumpty's unconscious body lay, perhaps to continue the savage beating, or maybe just to even eat him. Abner, knowing he had only one chance left, leapt to his feet and ran towards the lazy, slow moving Snuffleupagus. Getting underneath the great beast, Abner did the only thing that came to his mind; with a great shout of "SHORYUKEN!!!", the boy pulled off one of the sweeter Street Fighter moves in such a style that it would have made Ken and Ryu as green as Blanka with envy, had either of them both been around to witness it and been real in the first place. Luckily, Abner had hit the Snuffleupagus in its one weak spot; his oft-overlooked Snuffleupagus nipple. The beast stopped immediately in its tracks, and with one mighty lurch, fell over right on top of Bumpty, its trunk landing on top of Abner as well, pinning him down.
Try as hard as he could, Abner simply could not muster the strength to get out from underneath the grand and majestic Snuffleupagus trunk, and soon heard footsteps approaching.
"Welly welly well," a gruff voice spoke. "Looks like Colonel Karmel has bagged himself a human this time, right m'boys?" An outburst of sycophantic guffaws were the response. "Knock him out and bring him back to Via Penguifico."
At this, Abner saw a group of penguins approaching from his peripheral vision, and a few moments later, everything was black.