Chapter 10: Angry Mount Quaffle

Soundtrack: Cheetahman II - 'Livin' Large!' by Another Soundscape

"But you-" Abner started.
"Were grotesquely torn limb from limb by a chainsaw?" Karmel finished humorlessly. "Yes. Yes I was. Where is my beloved Bumpty, by the by?"
"You can't be here though, you're dead," Abner said, ignoring the question in the hopes that it would go away with the sudden reappearance of Bumpty.
"I had matters to attend to before I could go on," Karmel continued in the same casual voice, as if this simple explanation could account for his rise from the dead.
Abner could only stare at the horrible little penguin in awe; surely this was just another test of Mount Quaffle. And yet, something told him that that wasn't the case. Attempting for stall for time, for what reason he didn't know, Abner carried the conversation.
"Matters...like what?"
Colonel Karmel looked at Abner with a look of restrained anguish for a few moments, the first sign of emotion he had shown since his reappearance, and finally spoke.
"I was born into a family that was stationed at the bottom of the social ladder, thanks to a broken Shiver City. The leader at that time was regarded as kind and caring; he never waged war, always tried to help the lower class, and was a gentle speaker. But when my older brother grew sick, my parents couldn't afford the medical treatment for long. Our entire savings were gone within weeks in a futile attempt to make things better. As we sat in the hospital room at his side for days at a time, I would look out the window and see the other side of town; the rich penguins, the ones who didn't have to worry about their children growing sick, the ones who were blind to our plight, all because of a leader who refused at all costs to ever wage war, keeping our economy down. His gentle speaking did nothing to heal my brother; his inaction cost my brother his life.
"After my brother died, my parents both lost their will to carry on at all, let alone take care of a less talented younger child such as myself. My mother died within weeks, and my father drank himself to death. I was alone; alone in a world that favored those who could disregard the feelings of others and only worry about their own needs. At last, I could take care of only myself, every other penguin be damned.
"Not having to worry about anyone's happiness but my own, I was able to rise in the social ladder quite quickly. As a good looking, reasonably skilled orphan penguin, people were very quick to sympathize with me, you see. In less than 10 years of my whole family's death, I found myself within inches of a seat of power. Naturally, I did what I felt was best; I killed that old fool of a leader, and then became ruler of Shiver City. After that, I destroyed the social ladder, by striking everyone down into poverty. If I had lived through such a thing, then the others could too. And that's what I've come back for; I can't let that fool Bumpty lead what is rightfully mine."
Abner felt sick; he wished that Karmel would stop talking. As much as he had detested this penguin before, he couldn't help but feel sympathy towards him now. Karmel lost everything, and possibly at the same age that Abner was about to lose the only family member left to him. Would he, too, ultimately end up as a crazed, Snuffleupagus riding, chocolate chip cookie throwing maniac, losing all sympathy for the rest of humanity in the process? As these thoughts rushed through Abner's head, a noise came from the entrance to the cave, and the two looked towards it.
"So, that's why I felt your presence here," Bumpty said, waddling forward, looking tired but completely in charge of the situation as per usual.
At the sight of Bumpty, all of Karmel's prior composure seemed to melt instantaneously, replaced by a cold, hard fury. Wasting no more time with words, he pointed his chainsaw gun directly at Bumpty, who could only sigh.
"We've done this before, and the result will be the same as last time you foolish fellow!"
Ignoring this, Karmel immediately fired shot after chainsaw infused shot at the heroic Bumpty, who proceeded to do his ridiculously awesome tango through said chainsaws. Leaping into the air, and once more pulling a spatula out of seemingly thin air, Bumpty came down, slicing the gun in half like a hot knife through butter, and kicked Karmel in his adorable little penguin chest, sending him sliding several feet forward. Turning away from Karmel, Bumpty looked at Abner with a smile.
"Now that that's over with, let's say we finish this epic quest off, my dear boy." Seeing the look of incredulity on Abner's face, Bumpty spun around to see the most awesomely horrifying thing in the history of ever.
Colonel Karmel was writhing on the ground in what looked like pain. Letting out a blood curdling scream, he started transforming before their eyes. Demonic wings sprouted out of his back; his flippers exploded, leaving seven foot long lobster claws in their wake; a freakishly long neck extended his head upwards, and his bulk increased dramatically. And, for some reason, he had a pirate's eye patch over his right eye. Opening his beak, he shot a stream of high velocity boots directly at Bumpty, who couldn't dodge the footwear in time, and whose right leg broke from an assaulting, highly stylish cowboy boot.
Abner ran forward to grab Bumpty, but a stream of boots heading his way forced him to drop down on to the ground.
"Abner my dear boy, RUN! It's me he wants, you have to get to Santa!" Bumpty screamed, all the while desperately rolling to avoid the latest boot attack headed his way.
"No, I won't!" Abner called out. Leaping upwards, he ran towards his beloved penguin friend, jumping over and ducking over every boot assault. As he was about to reach Bumpty, one of Karmel's newly sprouted lobster claws cold cocked Abner, sending him flying. Landing hard on the mountain's summit, Abner could only look hopelessly on the scene as the lobster clawed demon pirate penguin beared down upon Bumpty. Strangely enough, as Abner's eyes met Bumpty's, the penguin bore only a sad little smile on his face. Understanding between the two was instantaneous, and there where was nothing Abner could do to stop what his friend was about to do.
As Karmel raised his crazy lobster arm, preparing to make a fine penguin paste with it, Bumpty launched himself off the ground with his spatula, ramming straight into Karmel's chest, sending him staggering backwards dangerously close to the edge. Not wasting a second, Bumpty once more launched himself into Karmel, this time hanging onto his head, covering his non-pirate patch'd eye with his free flipper. The monster-ized Karmel could only give a terrible roar, and then Bumpty had jabbed his spatula into the giraffe sized neck, replacing his mighty bellowing with a sickening gurgle. Abner watched in horror as the creature staggered backwards, falling off the edge of Mount Quaffle with Bumpty still hanging on to the creature's head. Somehow, Bumpty managed to grabbed a hold of the edge of the cliff, but even as Abner ran forward to try and help him out, he could tell that something was wrong; Creature Karmel, in one last act of spite, was holding on to Bumpty's already weakened leg.
Before the boy could reach his beloved penguin, Bumpty looked into his eyes one last time.
"Fly, my dear boy!" And at that, Bumpty was pulled off of the edge of Mount Quaffle, disappearing from sight forever.